Interests:This will not be a ... "so today i did this, and then i did that, and then he said this, but i was like, no waaayyyy" kind of xanga. If you wanna kno what he said and what she said...then, ask me. Otherwise...ttyl
I've been wanting to write about this for sometime now. An afternoon bike ride today compelled me to get it out. Just rambling.
I watched UP when it opened in May. Since then, it's constantly been on my mind. If you've read my past entries, you may be able to tell that I am quite the nostalgic person; finding great value in life experience and stories from the past. Therefore the story of Mr. Fredricksen in UP deeply resonated with me, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I did tear up (several times) during the film. (Got my 3D glasses all foggy, heh). There are a few reasons why I think UP hit an emotional chord with SO many ppl (97% on rottentomatoes, various blogs praising that 10 min opening montage, etc). Aside from the fact that yes, Pixar kicks arse in telling quality stories, this story in particular dealt with two things that I believe are the most valuable to everyone in some form. Innocence and Youth You'd think I'd put "Love" in there, but here's why I didn't. Innocence and youth are both things that once lost, can never be attained again. Love, on the other hand can be found in many ways and shapes throughout one's lifetime. Therefore, due to the fleeting attainability of innocence and youth, I feel these are the most valuable (not necessarily most important, ahh). Usually, by the time one is even able to understand what each of those really mean...it's too late, because they're already lost.
Innocence This involves everything you felt and experienced before the world ruined it. When your loving parents did their best to shelter you and keep you safe. Before that first girl rejected you. Before you saw how horrible some people could really be in the way they treated you, or others. There are different stages of innocence. I would admit that my being 24 still retains some innocence compared to a 50 yr old, but I've definitely lost a lot compared to an 18 yr old, or an 8 yr old. This applies to everything that you didn't know about, until you actually had to face it, worry about it, fight it, and endure. As we grow up, that protective distance is constantly being broken. In terms of UP... Mr. Fredricksen was challenged when he met Russell. A child who still had innocent dreams and views that he gave up on a long time ago. Before Ellie passed, before Ellie had a miscarriage. It's hard to revisit a way of seeing the world after going through what Mr. Fredricksen (and so many older people in the world) go through. We, too, may have to give up the dreams we had when we didn't have to worry about anything. On the brighter side, innocence is what we desire in love. Though "love" can be found all the time..."first love" is a one time thing. In UP, Pixar gives us a story of what we wish our love was like. How many people can say in this day and age that they met someone as a child, and ended up falling in love and growing old with them. Not many. But Pixar paints this picture for us in Mr. Fredricksen...which is why it's so much more tragic when he loses this love, created in innocence.
Youth This is pretty self explanatory. If you've ever daydreamed about lazy sundays and brisk afternoons from when you were "a kid" then you know. I recognize that writing about "youth" as a 24 yr old (and if you're reading this as like, a 15 yr old) is pretty absurd. We're still in our "youth". But so quickly this time period falls through our fingers and we're only left with fond memories which are only just that, memories. This is why everyone has an "inner child", and why that child is so important to them. "Inner childs" are what makes fans furious when they see their favorite comic or cartoon growing up mutilated into a horrible Hollywood movie. "Inner childs" are what gets adults excited when they do an activity that reminds them of their youth. "Inner child" is what gets Mr. Fredricksen teary eyed when he looks through his Adventure book with regret of not being able to fill it out with Ellie when they were younger. We all want to perpetually feel like we have a lifetime ahead of us to fullfill our dreams, find love, and go on adventures. This obviously is impossible and we will wake up one morning seeing that a lifetime has already passed. You can never regain lost time. Time = youth. This is where the movie begins, Mr. Fredricksen feeling that his life has already passed him, and he missed out. Russell comes along though and restores Mr. Fredrickson's inner chid, even though his youth is long gone.
This is why UP was such a great movie to me. It brought themes to the audience that usually don't get addressed in a kids movie. This is why UP was so surprising to adults and myself, because we all thought it was going to be a fun, cute movie a la Pixar about a floating house, and instead, we were faced with many scenarios that probably hit very close to home.
Didn't really have a destination with this entry. Like I said, just thoughts. What innocent dreams did you have when you were younger? I wanted to be a Lego designer, (probably not gonna happen). How often do you feed your inner child? If you feel too cool or embarrassed to do so, be careful, you'll lose your youth faster that way. I think my goal now is to not find myself in Mr. Fredricksen's position 50 years from now; wondering about all the adventures I could have gone on. Because, I'm not so confidet a chubby little Asian kid is gonna come by my house and save me from my bitterness. I don't wanna count on that, so I'll do what I can, while I can, on my own right now. =P
I think as we get older, our parents begin to reveal more about themselves to us. Maybe because they know that it's no longer necessary for them to be the steadfast elders; we're too smart for that now. Now they are more comfortable to show how they really feel, or what they really think. Recent events have shown this to me quite drastically, although over the last couple years I've definitely sensed a change. Maybe because I'm not home as often, maybe because we don't get to talk as much as before, or maybe because they're aging, but I'm starting to see a side of my parents that I was always "too young" or naive to see/understand. The vulnerable side.
Retracting my teen years. Keep in mind, I'm writing as someone who was a teenager once too, full of angst and what I thought at the time, wisdom, so I'm not saying any of this condescendingly to those who are teens now. But this is definitely true, when we were younger, we always felt that our parents didn't understand us. However, I'm starting to see that, it is US who never really understood THEM. We always gave ourselves that excuse that, the generational and cultural gap was too big. But really, no age and culture difference can change the fact that our parents when they were our age, felt love, anger, fear, and sorrow. And even now, just as human beings, they continue to feel those things, but do their best to hide it from us because they are our parents, and must be strong. I feel bad for not seeing it earlier, but our parents have their own lives too. We get caught up in our day to day, he said-she said gossip, and personal agendas/aspirations...but have you ever thought, your parents have that too. Why would they not? I think once we realize this, it greatly humanize our folks, and actually, doesn't it make you more curious about them and what they're feeling/thinking? Maybe not. Maybe your moms and dads are really open and talk a lot, but mine...I can tell there's a lot that they keep inside, to protect us, or themselves. The burden of truth. But now, they're telling me more, treating me as an equal, and on one hand it's eye-opening, but on the other hand, it's a burden. I mean, for so long, they were the ones that sacrificed and took care of us. Poked and prodded to know how we were and how we felt...and now the tables are turning. We have to learn to care for them, to be worried about them...and all this new information about their pasts and presents is a huge load of information and emotions I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with, because unfortunately, the stuff they keep from us, usually isn't the cheery stuff, but instead quite heavy. I could go on a lot longer about this, because it's been on my mind for some time now, but I guess to sum it up...our parents are complicated people. They have secrets, they have desires, they have failures and fears, they have dreams that they had to give up. My parents are definitely like this as I'm discovering and it's hitting me hard. I want them to be happy. I just want them to be happy. Give your folks a second thought, they deserve it; it wasn't easy raising us.
Dreaming for them. I'll leave w/ this song. It's called "Dreams" by an artist named Sam Geunjin Kang. (*plug, get Sam's album, it's really good). I've been a fan of his for several months now, and this song definitely translates what I'm feeling for mom and dad into music. Everytime I get to the third verse, I'm moved listening to the words.
Verse 3 starts at 2:37 (Please listen and read the lyrics) And mama never had to worry about the life she had Found a place in the world to live the life she planned And the hands of my father once bruised and torn No scars for the man like he was reborn Cause he never gave up and with hell they paid But in this place they were caught in a heavenly way Shake the Shikae cut up all the fruit to eat With some Anju grab a couple beers to drink And my mama felt good kicking back this time Cause she was free finally got a little peace in her mind And my father sat talking to his father that died Cause in this place everyone that I loved was alive, but this time He finally found the words to say As tears fell from the sky rain was hitting his face Cause in this place you could never be too late Cause in this place you could clean up all the messes you made Imagine that So I fell into the thoughts of my soul Dreams came rushing like the tingles of hope If I had one thing that could somehow come true It’s to show you the dreams that I’ve been dreaming for you
It's been awhile since I've posted here. Sorry for neglecting, there are just too many areas that need updating. Most of my attention goes to the Wong Fu Blog and my Twitter. Find me there!
Since the last post, it's been a whirlwind of stuff going on. The ISA concert we threw was in March and a huge success. Now we're on tour for the rest of April. I have a fairly large pimple growing on my nose, the day before one of our biggest events. sigh. I really thought that after high school I wouldn't have to deal with this anymore. S'great to know puberty is still working it's magic at 24. FML
I'm sure you didn't really care to know that... but for everything else check out these links. Follow me on Twitter! twitter.com/philipwang Check out our Spring Tour schedule HERE. We might be coming to a university near you. Watch the ISA recap video below.
I realized tonight that I've never acknowledged this before...but just so you know...I do read all the comments that are left here. Since the beginning. I was reading some past entries and going through the comments and it really hit me how lucky I am to have the support and encouragement of so many ppl that have never met me but somehow feel connected through my work or writing (along with some friends who are still subscribed to me and helping me keep xanga alive...haha. are you guys still there?)
When we were younger I think that we were given more opportunities to receive and give written words or encouragement or appreciation (Vday cards in elementary school, cards to your friends, notes you pass to your gfs or bfs, that sort of thing). As we get older, it's less likely for that to happen...who has time to write "feelings"? But the written word is so powerful. It physically lasts and is not as easily forgotten as spoken words.
These days the secret notes and spiderman vday cards are gone...but I get txt on a monitor. And you'd be surprised how some pixels on a computer screen from ppl I don't even know can make such a difference. So I just wanted to let you know, those who are reading, that your warm words go a long way. More than you know. I don't know why I deserve such kindness. <embrace> Thank you. <embrace tighter> thank you.
For that don't check our actual website...we released Part 3 of "Up In Da Club" yesterday. Totally on time too. Anyway, in this episode Evan gets a dance lesson from Lotus. I played Lotus... and yeah, I used to be a dancer.
I wasn't like Lotus, I swear...I wasn't "cool" enough to be like him, and definitely wasn't a good enough dancer to be all cocky about it, but yes, when I was in college I was on a hip hop dance team called "Ascension". I was on it all four years of school, definitely learned a lot, definitely shaped my time in college, definitely had a lot of fun. Since then though, I haven't danced at all, and I do miss it a lot. Even worse, I've definitely lost a few steps and wouldn't be able to keep up with all the crazy awesome dancersout there these days. There were a lot of camera tricks and special effects used in the new short to make it look like I sorta knew what I was doing. Ascension was a great team. We competed, did shows, made music videos. Wes and Ted even got involved! They were honorary members. The team is still there at UCSD today, so lookout for them if you ever go. Sigh to think I used to be able to move like this... (see if you can spot me)
The opening picture is from this performance in 2006. Anyway, enough showing off and reminiscing about the glory dayz. I think it's really because I do miss it. I sometimes think it'd be really fun to teach a class around here. Nothing crazy since I'm not "hip wit it" anymore, but beginner stuff? Anyone wanna sign up? I promise I won't be like Lotus.
